One Fiery Winter's Morning
by Peroth
Summary: On a fine winter's morning two meddlesome ponies start causing trouble for the Elements of Harmony with some very potent magic, but they're really only trying to help! How can the girls handle feelings that aren't even theirs? Clopfic warning.
1. Fluttershy Fails to Seduce Rainbow Dash

'Whatever possessed me to allow such magnificent thing as winter to continue on in this fashion must have been quite the persuasive little rat.' Princess Celestia's thoughts were laced with venom and dipped into razorblades as she stubbornly moved her legs forward.

She wore none of her princess regalia at such an ungodly hour as four in the morning. Oh no. Eight, seven, maybe even six o' clock was jewelry time, but not before she was supposed to be raising the sun. No, she was clothed with the finest silken smiley face pajamas Canterlot could muster and was robed with whatever spare blankets she could grab before leaving her room to defend her against the chill wind. 'Fat lot of good it's doing. I simply must commission more dense blankets.' She thought as she sipped her coffee. Having open air hallways in her castle was fancy and all, but far from practical during the harsher months of the year. 'Some dense curtains too. And retractable windows. And somepony needs to invent a heater. Soon.'

She opened the double doors to the room of the supposed crime zone and took enough steps in to get past the doors so they wouldn't hit her as they shut. Then she took note of her surroundings. Her guards were frantically taping off various exits with big yellow "**DO NOT ENTER**" banners while detectives were taking pictures.

The royal treasury was a fine little exhibit. Not so much a treasury as much as it was a museum of exotic and expensive jewels. Celestia and Princess Luna had spent some time at different points in their lives getting entranced by beautiful gems and getting the choicest pieces to display in the castle. It made sense to her that it would get targeted for burglary, though now that the rational parts of her mind were starting to come online she could understand the panic.

The castle had been robbed. The magical trip alarms and the presence wards had been breached from the doors, to the floors, to one of the gem cases. Only _one_ of the gem cases. Celestia feared the worst as she approached the head of the Equestrian Royal Guard. "Captain Hero." She greeted. Not as warmly as she would have liked, but it was technically his fault she had to wake up so early.

"Princess Celestia." He acknowledged back as he carefully walked around the perimeter of the robbed case. "I trust the morning has been good to you." His eyes went to hers. Oh yes, he could tell she was having a ball of a morning.

"If it was under my jurisdiction, I would trade this hour out for an extra pillow on my bed." She groaned, draining her coffee quickly and teleporting the cup away. "I trust some form of progress has been made to find our burglar?"

"In a way." Hero stared at the empty display, staying out of the ring of shattered glass that laid all around it a short distance. "We've been able to conclude that the case was most likely shattered from the inside out judging by the way the glass has settled."

Celestia could agree with that. There was barely any glass inside the display. Though that was not at all an effective method of stealing jewels. The explosion of glass would have hit the burglar, even if they were a reasonable distance away. Though there was no trail of blood, so the criminal hadn't been cut, or not cut deep enough. She supposed the thief could have been worried about activating perimeter alarms around the room and chose to stay in the back when they popped the case, but they surely would have figured the doors and the display itself would be equally protected, wouldn't they?

On top of that the jewels were ultimately magic-proof unless you were one of the princesses. They would have had to break a perimeter alarm anyways. Celestia decided that the criminal must have finally decided to screw their own good luck in making it this far into the castle without getting caught and decided to set off every alarm they possibly could: the door was breached twice, the case was of course set off, the perimeter lines were crossed, the anti-air wards had been broken, and the vent monkey guarding the room was still screeching its head off.

"Right." Princess Celestia finally answered a few moments later. "Any more information?"

"Well," Hero's eyes turned away, avoiding Celestia's gaze in discomfort as an unfamiliar sense of awkwardness filled the space between them. "The way the alarms were triggered are most unusual."

"Hm?" Celestia quirked an eyebrow, "Do tell."

"The first alarm triggered was the display alarm when the glass exploded. The second alarms triggered were the air alarms, then the perimeter alarms, and _then_ the door alarms. The vents weren't tampered with, no teleportation wards were activated, the windows are in tact and haven't been touched by magic, so either the magic-prevention charms aren't working and the burglar popped in or they are working and we're dealing with a clever pony." Hero shuffled his hooves nervously.

"And when did the monkey go off?"

"Who knows? Monkeys are crap at telling time." He continued to avoid her gaze and shuffle about. "Anyways, the only things stolen were the Virge and Loze gems. We don't particularly know why since the Gryphon Kingdom's Peace Ruby is completely untouched, as is the Manehatten Gold Rush Diamond."

It did seem odd the burglar would go so far just to avoid the two most valuable of the royal gems. They obviously did not set the bar very high. "Virge and Loze." Celestia repeated to herself. Those certainly sounded familiar. She didn't visit the room every day, and these jewels weren't gathered by her in particular. It had been Luna's whimsy to buy them. They had a story of some sort, not that Celestia could recall it at the moment.

She didn't notice how her eyes stayed firmly glued to Hero while she was in her thoughts. She was just so distracted she didn't bother to look elsewhere. It wasn't until he shivered gently and let a great big blush show through his white fur that she finally noticed.

"Something the matter, Hero?" Celestia finally asked. She would definitely ask Luna about Virge and Loze later, provided she couldn't remember it in time. The story was sort of piecing together, something about trickster alicorn gods and making ponies act up. That was right, they had to do with twin pony beings who somehow transcended normal mortality and magical limitations and did… Stuff? There was more to it that that.

"I-it's nothing Princess." Hero stared down at his own hooves. Quite uncharacteristic. He was normally so wooden and firm in his stance, nary a trace of emotion in his face or his gaze. Yet here he was, stammering and blushing like a little school filly with a…

'Virge and Loze.' Celestia repeated in her mind. 'Oh dear.' Quietly she recalled the silly story Luna had told her of the twin gems Virge and Loze.

"Princess Celestia?" The god-mare looked up to Hero. His tail was wiggling behind him nervously as he pawed at the ground. He gave her the most adorable doe eyes she'd ever seen on a colt as his whole face turned bright red. "… Would you happen to be free for dinner tonight?" He muttered quickly, then glanced down.

Hero had never once acted this way before. Why now? There was no rational explanation for it…

Without answering, Celestia turned her head to stare at the case, remembered Luna giggling and blushing at the story she'd just told her sister, and the contents of the tale brained her like a brick to the noggin.

"Captain Hero." Celestia swiftly faced the colt, who stood rigid as her 'all business' face came on. "A thought occurs. As much as I hope this is a simple case of burglary, don't discount the possibility of it being a break-out instead."

Hero kept himself as stiff as possible. "A break-out. Yes ma- you mean like as in a prison break-out?" He asked, his stiffness slowly leaving as he tilted his head at her quizzically.

"Precisely." Celestia turned to leave the room and go find Luna to tell her the news. She paused before she took more than a few steps and glanced back to him very quickly, "Dinner sounds lovely, meet me at my throne around five." She then sped away.

* * *

><p>"<em>Woot!"<em> The winged colt smashed through the clouds, looped about, sped up and dipped and dove all around as the mare stared down at the little village below with her binoculars. She shuffled on the cloud and twitched as the colt sped by. "Booyah! Hey!" The colt lifted up right next to the mare and grinned. The mare ignored him. "Hey!" He called again, jabbing her side. Still, she stayed quiet and stared. "… Yo! Dreams! Did you see what I did?" He asked as he grabbed her and began to shake her.

Wet Dreams gave a shout of annoyance and swung her hoof down, knocking the colt clean through the cloud she was sitting on. She then snorted and refocused on the task at hoof.

Or at least until Tender Care's chest filled her vision as he rose in front of her. "Dreams, c'mon! Can't you put those down for five minutes? Live a little?" He asked, floating on his back as Dreams managed to calmly lower her binoculars.

"Tender." Dreams took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "As happy as I am for your short-sighted joy, we set off enough magic in the last two hours that we probably have half the castle on our tails right now. I would really like to finish our objective before we're jailed." She growled.

Tender 'psh'ed at the thought. His coat was a bright red, nearly pink with his horn matching it. His hair was straight and curled at the ends, being a hotter scarlet than his coat. On both sides of his flank was a cutie mark in the shape of a heart with an arrow going through it. "Please sis, we're covered. We got your eagle eyes on the job and my butt-kicking to back it up!" He flexed and kissed one of his foreleg muscles.

He stopped when a pair of binoculars beaned him between the eyes. When his vision refocused, he could see Wet Dreams was glaring. "… Now go get those back." She pointed downwards and pursed her lips angrily at him.

Tender Care sniffed and dove downwards after the binoculars. Dreams rolled her eyes and tugged out another pair of binoculars and focused on the village again, free of distractions. Like her brother she had a red coat, but hers was so dark it was nearly purple. Her mane was fuzzy and untamed, pitch-black with a few red patches here and there. Her cutie mark was the symbols of blue masculinity and pink feminism locked by the rings.

"Ah-hah." She whispered to herself, gently adjusting the binoculars with the magic of her dark horn until she could clearly see the pony beyond the village. The Element of Kindness, she knew instinctively. The lovely yellow coat, that hot pink hair, that gentle stance and kind little wiggle of her backside as she touched noses with a bunny holding a carrot… "The hay?" She muttered. The Element of Kindness? This beautiful, adorable, loving little thing needed her assistance?

What kind of justice was _this?_ This mare should have been picking them off the streets! Why did she need help! This was blasphemy! Madness! Dreams honestly felt angry that she was called on to help a mare that look as magnificent as this!

It had been over twenty years since the last time the elements needed the help of Virge and Loze and Dreams could only feel disgust that any help was needed in the first place. Well, it would be simple at least. They could probably be done within the hour and get back to a safe spot before anypony caught them.

Well, an hour for her. Tender might be a different story. She rolled her eyes in thought and raised her binoculars to look for target number two.

Then another pair of binoculars smacked her in the back of the head.

* * *

><p>"Weren't we lucky Angel?" Fluttershy asked as she opened the door of her little woodland cottage. The small white rabbit hopped inside while chewing the last inch of his carrot to pieces. Fluttershy slid her green winter coat off her body and hung it on the rack by the door, Angel bunny doing the same thing with his hoof-woven coat on a lower hanger. "You were right about leaving so early! The last bushel of carrots for the season." Fluttershy sighed as she walked into her kitchen. She pulled the carrots from her saddlebag and set it on the counter.<p>

Little noises sprung up from all around the house as the small animals Fluttershy cared for announced their hunger. A small number of birds, a few mice, squirrels, cats, and a young piglet with a sprained leg shared her home with her as she healed them from their sick or wounded state to functionality again.

Fluttershy did not mind the noise or the company. She loved caring for these little animals, all they needed was some tender loving care to get better, and even better they absolutely returned the love and heaped trust on her. They knew she would care for them, she knew she couldn't betray that trust.

She mixed them salads of vegetables and nuts while reassuring them breakfast was coming soon. It was a stressful job sometimes for sure, especially if some of the animals weren't recovering as she hoped, but when they did she could let out a little sigh of relief.

Though she had to be honest with herself. The satisfaction of her job wasn't cutting it as much as it used to. She didn't want money, the small stipend she earned from the Mayor was more than enough to deal with her needs. No, she needed something more lately. She had all the love in the world so her emotional needs were covered, it just felt like the stress was mounting too quickly to be relieved.

She quietly considered if a vacation would be a bad idea while serving out bowls of food. Few ponies could do what she did daily, mostly due to time limitations since every other pony old enough and skilled enough to do so had jobs of their own. She could go for a little breather. It actually sounded kind of fun…

But the entire time she would be worried about her little animal friends. She tried not to frown, she really did, but if she went away for even a few days she would just be a big worry wart. Dash would describe her as a 'bummer' in that case.

The spa did have its place on her schedule. It was a nice thing to do every week, it made her relax, but it also gave her a lot of free time to dwell on what she needed to do once she got home. She was busy often helping her animals, but when she wasn't busy she was thinking about being busy with the animals.

Fluttershy quietly glanced up at the ceiling as the animals who needed her ate gratefully. They were cute and content, sure, but she could no longer content herself on the satisfaction of the animals anymore. What she really needed, what would really help her was some sort of stress-relieving activity that last only an hour or three at the most but was too involving for her to think about the animals.

But what sort of thing like that existed? Nothing came to mind.

Maybe another pony would know. Dash was always so calm and relaxed, but that could just be Dash's attitude. Sweet as she was, Dash was as lazy as she was gifted. It made Fluttershy smile a little.

Another pony who might know was Twilight. She was so well-read she could have picked up something. Maybe she even practiced whatever it was and could give advice.

Or perhaps Rarity? She was in an amazingly stressful job, she must know how to relax herself quickly. It was the only way she could meet so many short deadlines on time!

Well, if one didn't know she always had a shot with the other two. Fluttershy smiled at this thought and began to make her inspections to see if there were any improvements on her little friends.

* * *

><p>"Dude."<p>

"I know."

"Really?"

"I _know."_

"How?"

"Hay if I know."

"I don't believe you."

"Believe it."

"Nope."

"You'd better."

"Uh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"How?"

"No idea."

"She's _gorgeous."_

"Yep."

"She's _nice."_

"No kidding."

"She's so _sweet."_

"No lie."

"And cute!"

"And soft."

"And _soft!"_

Dreams shrugged.

"How the hay did this happen!" Tender growled as he joined his sister in using binoculars to spy on the cottage's lovely occupant. The mare inside was feeding little woodland creatures and looking at sprains, cuts, and thermometers all the while. This… _This_ mare needed help getting laid?

"Beats me. Maybe ponies are stupid nowadays. Are ponies stupid nowadays?" Dreams asked while focusing on Kindness' rump when the mare faced away. A low whistle escaped her lips at the sight. This butt went beyond healthy. This butt deserved magazine editions devoted to it.

"I don't think they're any stupider than they were last time we were here. I think. I didn't check." Tender put his binoculars down and rubbed his eyes. "Crap on a cracker, this is disappointing. I was hoping this would be difficult!"

"Like with Hoof Crusher?"

"Mmm, buck teeth, mop hair-"

"- two-fifty pounds -"

"- ate like a dragon -"

"- manners of a crocodile…"

"Kindness is apparently not looks specific."

"I'm just glad chubby-chasers exist." Dreams set her binoculars down and stretched her legs out, two audible pops coming from each one before she picked herself up off the cloud. "I need to go work my mojo on this girl."

"Well don't wait for me, this isn't my area. I'm gonna go look for the loveless." Tender lifted from the cloud with a flutter of his wings.

"Keep in mind there are _three_. Of each. Keep an eye out for all the Elements, will you? I'd like to be done quick enough to snatch a few drinks before hiding again." Wet Dreams lifted in the air and with a faded scarlet glow of her horn she disappeared from sight.

"You and your drinks. I'll keep my eyes open." Tender Care flew off towards town as Dreams soundlessly drifted to the cottage, pausing only when a rainbow-colored streak beat her to the door.

* * *

><p>"Your tummy is still feeling okay?" Fluttershy smiled down at the little mouse. The mouse gave her a beaming smile and stroked his tummy gratefully before diving back onto a wedge of cheese.<p>

Fluttershy giggled warmly as she watched him, checking him off as 'cured, but still needs observing'. If had been six whole days since the mouse could last eat even the slightest bit of cheese without getting a serious tummy ache. Six whole days without his favorite snack! Watching him savor each bite until he was on the verge of crying filled Fluttershy with great amounts of pleasure, but less than she was used to.

It disappointed her she wasn't so thrilled to see them happy again like she was before. She couldn't believe she could get desensitized to _happiness_. She avoided showing too much pain as she moved on to the next patient, a bird that had gotten tangled in some tree branches and threw a leg out trying to get out.

She paused as she heard two loud knocks and turned to face the door right as Rainbow Dash walked in. The sky-blue Pegasus was beaming. "Hey Fluttershy!" She called with giddiness in her voice. Fluttershy smiled wide at Rainbow Dash as she carefully checked the leg bandages.

"Rainbow Dash!" It was amazing how quiet her enthusiasm was. "This is a pleasant surprise, I wasn't expecting you." The bird under Fluttershy's hooves was let go to go sit on a specialized perch for birds with her condition.

"I live to surprise!" Rainbow Dash kicked the door shut before the breeze behind her could get too strong and marched on in. "You will not _believe_ the morning I had! It was _so._ _Awesome!"_ Dash nearly squealed, bouncing on her hooves next to Fluttershy.

"Really?" Fluttershy blinked. "More awesome than the morning you woke up with twenty love letters on Hearts and Hooves day?"

"Yep!" Dash's grin was unstoppable.

"More awesome than the morning Tank did a backflip?"

"Yep!"

"More awesome than the time you and Applejack knocked over a giant bowl of tartar sauce to defeat Codzilla?"

"At least three times more awesome than that!" Dash flexed powerfully and grinned even wider.

"Wow." Fluttershy took a moment to let the _sheer awesome_ of whatever made Dash so excited sink in. "That's… That's pretty awesome!"

"You have _no idea!_" Dash grabbed Fluttershy in a bear-hug and began to squeeze! Fluttershy wheezed in her grip. "I got a backstage pass to a _Wonderbolt's Show next month!_" Dash squealed in pure joy as she began to bounce, making Fluttershy's head rattle. "You remember Spitfire? She's gave me the pass to the biggest Wonderbolt's show of the season so I can meet her trainers and team leaders!"

"Oh." Fluttershy managed to take in a breath. Rainbow Dash was literally shivering in joy, so much that her grip loosened around her quiet friend. "Oh!" Fluttershy finally came to a realization, "Oh my! You don't think she's-"

"I think she is!"

"Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy turned, returning the hug tightly. Dash was still chilly from having been flying through the cold, though that was changing as Fluttershy hugged her. Fluttershy's smile was a little wider than she meant it to be when she looked into Dash's eyes.

Nearby, Angel's twitching little nose paused as a new scent filled his nostrils. He turned quickly to stare at Fluttershy suspiciously.

"That's so amazing! She's really considering you for the Wonderbolts!" Fluttershy continued, her rump shaking a little too much at the news. She didn't know why it made her feel so warm. Or why she kept feeling so warm.

"I KNOW!" Dash screamed and bounced in place. The animals began to scatter in surprise, though Fluttershy didn't notice. "This is so amazing! I can't believe I'm going to be so amazing!" She once again grabbed Fluttershy around the body and tugged her close with one foreleg to point the other at the sky. "Hear that Equestria? Your best flier just got a promotion to _bestest_ flier! Gonna be a Wonderbolt, gonna be a Wonderbolt, gonna be a Wonderbolt…" Dash sang as she danced in place.

Fluttershy began to clap along with the beat, giggling while her cheeks reddened. My, Dash was so warm. So strong. So tough. Weird she never noticed that before. Well, she _knew_ Dash was strong and tough but she never really thought about how she felt that way. It was like a comfort blanket, guarding her against the troubles of the world, keeping her pleasant and un-stressed.

Fluttershy shuddered as she locked her thighs together. Angel's eyes widened in surprise.

"Ooh…" Fluttershy whispered, a warmth she hadn't felt before blooming between her hind legs. Her little smile turned up higher as she looked over Dash's physique with a much more curious stare. Her chest muscles were so pronounced, leaving a dark ridge right in the middle that Fluttershy would just die to snuggle against… Or perhaps lick…

"Oh!" Fluttershy squeaked at the thought. Her face glowed rosy red as that naughty thought persisted, a less rational part of her urging her to dive in for a taste and deny it when Dash would finally react. No, she shouldn't think so dirty! 'Bad Fluttershy.' She chastised herself playfully.

Oh oh, but her eyes had lowered just enough to see Rainbow Dash's stomach. Fluttershy felt her tongue turn to cotton as her little jaw quivered. Most ponies had a hint of fat around the mid-section, especially when they sat vertically like Dash was doing. A small, healthy bulge that gave some ponies a cute little pear shape.

Oh, but not Rainbow Dash. Definitely not Rainbow Dash. There was not a bit of fat on her stomach. She was sleek, smooth lines, raw muscle and bone, flat and tough as a tree. All covered by a thin layer of skin and short blue hair. Why, if Fluttershy were to kiss her there, Dash would no doubt feel it better than if she kissed her on those long, strong legs of hers…

Especially those absolutely delicious looking hind legs. Long, lean, aerodynamic to a tee. Were she to stroke, kiss, or lick those legs she would tickle Rainbow Dash. She would tickle her until she made it to her inner thighs, where those tickling feelings would leave to make room for a much more fiery feeling. Fluttershy would kindle that fire slowly, her hooves and lips and tongue would be precise but soft enough to just draw the smallest, cutest moans they could.

That fire would grow as she moved towards her mound, building from kindling into a pleasant campfire. Warm, accepting, beautiful, providing a nice amount of warmth but not _enough._ Then as her tongue teased her friend open, her teeth nibbling at the sensitive lips to draw panicked squeals of pleasure, that little campfire would soon grow into a raging bonfire, threatening to spill out of its containment as Fluttershy really began to dig in, until she found that one special spot, and teased it until those flames became an inferno of passion, erupting from its hold…

"Fluttershy!" She heard in the back of her mind. She didn't feel a certain rabbit thumping her leg with his foot. She didn't know her cheeks were a solid pink, that she was practically dripping down her own legs. "Fluttershy?" She heard again. She opened her eyes just barely, turning her head to greet Rainbow Dash with a massively pleased grin. "Uh, hey there. Welcome back to Equestria. You alright?" Rainbow Dash asked. Though concerned, Fluttershy's positively goofy smile was infectious.

"U-u-uh-huh…" Fluttershy whispered, hot and low. Oh she was more than alright. She had a need right now. A powerful little need named 'Rainbow-Dash-Open-Those-Legs-Right-Now'. Maybe in less words, but no point in being vulgar about it.

Angel was grabbing at Fluttershy's leg, but the opening of her wing made him stumble back as Fluttershy stretched. "I'm just so happy for you Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy bat her eyes seductively at her long-time friend and gave a bold little giggle.

"Huh?" Dash jerked her head up, having noticed her outer leg was feeling all moist for some reason when Fluttershy rubbed against it. "Oh! Yeah, I'm happy too! Man, I'm gonna be a _Wonderbolt!_ You should totally tour with me when I am Fluttershy!" Rainbow Dash grinned.

Fluttershy's brilliant smile hardly faltered as she gently dragged a hoof along Dash's chest, feeling that crevice of muscle. She licked her lips slowly, and Rainbow Dash's smile began to twitch. "Of course Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy whispered hotly.

Rainbow Dash started to feel very warm. She'd never seen Fluttershy look so… So… Uh… "You… You sure you're alright? I wasn't serious, I mean, you have so many animals-"

"Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy stopped her friend by gently pressing the tip of her hoof to the mare's lips. Dash froze immediately, every part of her stopping as Fluttershy grew such a naughty look. "I'm fine." Fluttershy shook her head slowly and chuckled. "Will you come with me to my bedroom?"

Dash's wings fell flat. "Huh?" Was she actually being invited into Fluttershy's bedroom? Fluttershy never offered that before. While any other pony may have thought something naughty was about to go down, Dash simply knew Fluttershy too well to even let such ideas take root. "Well, sure, I guess."

"Good." Fluttershy gently got herself out of Dash's grip and turned, her tail flowing against Dash's chin as she walked towards the bedroom. Dash felt her face flush. That was a little intimate. A little too intimate. Even for a regular pony. "I have a surprise present for you." Fluttershy whispered before slipping into her bedroom, not before tossing Dash a beckoning wink.

Rainbow Dash managed to get herself standing and walked into Fluttershy's room.

Angel Bunny hurried off his rump to the bedroom only for the door to shut an inch from his face. Futility he pounded his little paws against the wood before getting the sense to press his ear to the door and listen.

"So… Uh… Fluttershy." He heard Rainbow Dash say between nervous pauses. "A present? A _surprise_ present?"

"Oh yes." Fluttershy answered in an airy, detached voice. "Just for you, Rainbow Dash. Close your eyes." Angel waited in agitation for the conversation to continue.

The next thing he heard was a tiny moan, a little squeak of shock, the sound of bed sheets rustling, then… "Wait…" Dash spoke up. "Wait. Wait wait what- what the- what- WHAT- WHAT ARE YOU- WAIT FLUTTERSHY- HOLY HAY!" The door swung open, knocking Angel onto his back and dazing him as a rainbow-colored streak shot overhead. "RAPE! _RAAAPE! RAAAPE!"_ Dash screeched as she flew out the cottage.

Fluttershy leapt out of her room, standing over Angel and watching the leaving pony with a pout. "Dash! Come back! The present was _sex,_ not rape! Come ba~ack!" She ran towards the open front door. "Come back so I can have sex with you!"

Fluttershy stared out the door silently, the pout growing more pouty with each passing, rainbow-less second. After a few seconds she grabbed her winter coat and tossed it on, stopping only to look to Angel. "Angel Bunny, I'm going to go after Dash so I can have sex with her. Will you hold down the house for me?"

Angel, still half-dazed, just held a paw up to give a woozy thumbs-up.

"Thank you! You're the best!" Fluttershy called before shooting out of the house.

* * *

><p>Outside, Dreams stared incredulously from her cloud. Somehow, through her slack jaw, she managed to speak up to nopony in particular. "What the fu-"<p>

* * *

><p>I love little relaxing stories. They're so fun to write.<p>

~P.E.


	2. Big Macintosh Fixes Twilight's Plumbing

Winter was looking crisp this year. The chill in the air gave Big Macintosh goose flesh and sent a pulse of energy through his legs. Big Macintosh liked the cold. Heat wasn't too bad, he didn't mind staying out in the fields and doing his plowing and bucking, but when the winter fell there was not much point in staying in the fields when the crop wasn't going to be so great.

Nah, he liked the winter because it gave him the chance to turn his busy mind elsewhere. Gave him the chance to read some books, spend some extra effort in fixing up the house, or even lending out his skill to the townsfolk, such as today.

He set his toolbox down on the doorstep and raised his hoof to knock on the door of a pony he couldn't say he was particularly close to but still considered a friend. It took a moment for the door to open.

Big Macintosh stared forward at the empty space before realization struck and he glanced down. The little purple dragon he only knew by name stared up at him. "Mornin' Spike." Big Macintosh said slow and easy. "Lady of the house present?" He leaned down to pick up his toolbox.

"Well she's in the kitchen if that's what you mean." Spike stepped aside to let the huge earth pony inside. Spike swung the door shut and lead the way to the kitchen. "Though between you and me, she's not all there." He grumbled, effecting a childish pout that was surprisingly cute for a dragon.

"Mm." Big Macintosh said nothing, but he gave a glance around the library. It wasn't in the pristine, organized state he was used to. Books laid in stacks near the shelves but hadn't been sorted in yet. Scrolls laid across a few desks and easels giving him a look at the complex work Twilight Sparkle dedicated her nights to. Step-ladders sat in front of each shelf, telling him that at some point Twilight or Spike tried to get to work but got distracted.

Disarray was a good word for it. Unfamiliar when paired up with Twilight, but chance makes a mockery of all ponies.

At least it wasn't as bad as the kitchen. Or the pony in it. All the nuts and bolts were unscrewed loose, the lights weren't on despite the pony being home, and the darned thing had cracked under the pressure. The kitchen was a good mess too.

"Over not under over not under - hehehe - bolt 12A was meant to be in socket 3C so why is it in the _B's!_ Messy messy sloppy naughty ponies! Naughty _naughty!_" Twilight Sparkle was currently underneath the sink with a set of tools nearby that looked brand new, probably just bought. She was shaky, her hair all askew, bits and pieces of plumbing laying all about her in half-dried puddles of water while the only thing still intact about the sink itself was the marble.

Twilight's tail was raised high with agitation as she worked about, tossing tools around with her magic and dismissing pieces that were probably necessary to make the darned thing work arbitrarily. It did give Big Macintosh a nice view of the purple pony's round rump. It wasn't too big, but it was perky. Firm. No doubt as soft as the owner was smart.

Big Macintosh managed to not drool and pull his eyes away from the piece of candy waggling about a few feet away and set his tools on the counter while Spike grabbed one of Twilight's legs. "Hey, Twilight. Big Macintosh is here."

"Tell them I'm not hungry!" Twilight hissed rapidly, hardly looking as she began to hit a screw with a socket wrench. There was something endearing about a smart pony who had no earthly idea what the hay she was doing. "Thinking of apples at a time like this! _Apples!_ I have no time for apples! _I. Need. My. SINK!"_ Twilight growled and began banging her head against the u-bend of the pipework.

"Whoa nelly." Big Macintosh tugged the unicorn back before she could hurt herself. Twilight turned to face him with big, twitchy eyes that suggested some sort of mania. Well, maybe less like suggested and more like cracked him on the snout with a hammer.

"… Big Macintosh!" She squeaked in joy, seizing up with happiness as Spike pressed his forehead against his palm. "You're right on time! I just took out most of the unnecessary pieces to make room for the quantum singularity that will recycle the water through time and refill the aquifer with each usage, which will soon grant me a monopoly on the water system of Equestria and let me take control of _ALL OF DALLAS__! __**BWAHAHAHAHAHA**__-__**!**__"_

Big Macintosh slowly turned to look to Spike. Spike's jaw was twitching in an unusually uncomfortable fashion. The little dragon touched Twilight's chin with the tip of one claw, turning the curious unicorn to face him, and…

Big Macintosh winced at the sound of the slap. It was probably more sound than it was pain, but no matter what Twilight's messy mane quickly righted itself. The mare shook her head rapidly, then stared down at Spike. Spike pointed past her at Big Macintosh, not once losing his stiffly annoyed look. With the problem solved, the purple dragon stomped out of the kitchen.

Big Macintosh quietly watched as the unicorn's face heated up in embarrassment and let a nervous giggle escape her lips. "Oh, uh, hello Big Macintosh. Welcome to the library! Can I assist you?" She asked automatically, as if he was a customer. She realized what she had done immediately and this time she was the one slapping her forehead with her hoof. So that was where Spike learned it.

The little display of embarrassment only made Big Macintosh smile though. Ee-yup. Household plumbing was definitely not the brainy thing's forte. "Nn-nope. Just here for the sink." He glanced to the broken appliance in question. There were pieces of it laying all over the floor. Some of them soaked. A broken sink was one thing, a dismantled one was a different one entirely. "Had a bit of a scuffle with it?"

Twilight looked down at her hooves and her face turned bright red from shame. "Sorry. I thought I could do some work myself but these instructions…" She floated over the papers she'd been working from to let Big Macintosh see, "They make no sense! None of the pieces are where they should be!"

Big Macintosh looked over them instructions carefully before glancing to the sink. "Hmm. There's the problem. Instructions are to the wrong model." Big Macintosh leaned down and picked up a discarded pipe and set it on the counter. Twilight just stared at him with her jaw lowered in disbelief. "Gotcherself an older Hee-Haw model, 'bout twenty years outta date Miss Sparkle." Big Macintosh looked through his tools and tugged out a wrench. "I'd say I could fix it, though the work y'all put into is makin' me reconsider."

Twilight gasped out loud, the shame now so deeply imbedded in her eyes that they were shining with wetness. "I-I'm so sorry! I didn't think I did that much damage! I-…" She hung her head again, lower this time. "I'm sorry… I understand if you don't want this much work…" She sniffed loudly. She really screwed up this time.

A gentle hoof tilted her head and her eyes up to Big Mac's. "Now I didn't say I was reconsiderin' helpin' y'all. I just don't think I can do much for this'n here. Ya may have done yerself a favor with this'n. Out with the old 'n all. Hee-Haws were pretty bad anyhow, too many parts." He never really spoke in length with Twilight before, so it surprised her quite a bit that he could say more than a sentence at a time.

"O-okay." Twilight nodded, staring at the mess all around her. "So what should we do?" The uncertainty in her voice was kind of cute. Everything Big Macintosh knew about Twilight was from Applejack, and Applejack described Twilight like some sort of omniscient all-knowing super-pony with a stubborn strike a mile wide.

Yet here she was, fumbling for help from him of all people. Big Macintosh wasn't smart in the whole textbook sense, but he was a practical colt. "Why don't y'all run down to the hardware store and pick yerself up a new sink while I get this one out and clean up? Then I'll install the new one." He bobbed his head.

Twilight stared at him, unable to believe how altruistic this colt was being, but she managed one tiny, thankful smile just for him. "Of course Big Macintosh. Is there any way I can repay you?" She asked him honestly.

Big Macintosh thought about it for half a second. "Just smile a li'l more and don't stress out over anymore sinks." He nodded and started picking up the pieces of the old sink.

* * *

><p>"Crap on a cracker!" Dreams threw herself down onto a cloud and scowled into the distance as a pink streak raced away towards the horizon. How did these ponies get so darned fast! First the rainbow one was hardly a blur in the sky, and now this little demure mare that had succumb so easily to a arousal spell could match it? "No… Fair…" Dreams groaned, wheezing in tiredness.<p>

She and Tender had been at this job for nearly a thousand years since the Elements of Harmony fell latent. They cropped up every now in then in a random bunch of friends who usually had quite an interesting lifestyle, yet not once in a thousand years had things managed to go so wrong so quickly!

How was Loyalty not all over Kindness! The Element of Loyalty looked and acted butch enough and Dreams was pretty sure her gaydar still worked like a charm, but the instant that cute, sweet little mare Fluttershy began to push on a little kiss and work a little love magic of her own with her hoof Loyalty - Rainbow Dash! - took off screeching about rape!

It boggled her mind! This should have been two birds with one stone! Satisfy Kindness, wait for Tender to get back to get Rainbow Dash to fall in love - maybe with Fluttershy even - and they'd be a third of the way done. Now? Now a third of their objective was chasing itself out of reach!

"Crap on a Celestia-humping cracker!" Dreams kicked the cloud she was on and buried her face into it. 'Okay, focus Dreams.' She thought to herself as she grouchily looked up. The two had gone out of sight. 'They'll be back eventually. The elements never _ever_ abandon each other, even with death! They'll be back.' She grumpily lifted herself to her hooves.

She just had to find the other two and then she could focus on Fluttershy again. Get the easy out of the way and then focus on the hard.

Ugh, but that meant hunting again. "Crap. Fudge. Butt. Dork-face. Piss." Dreams reached over to take her binoculars out of hyper-space, but she stopped herself when she saw a pony way down below walking around the marketplace.

No no no no no. The mission had gone so wrong already, she couldn't be _this_ lucky. The Element of Magic wasn't even two hundred feet away from her right now! The so called elusive element was literally the only thing that was purple in the entire crowd of ponies below.

Well… Lose a pony and gain a pony. She wasn't going to complain about an easy job if it meant avoiding the feds. Wet Dreams sucked in a deep breath and turned invisible once more, then shot down below to catch up with the Element of Magic.

* * *

><p>Pinkie Pie didn't feel like herself today.<p>

The lights in her room were out, the party planners were all put away, the door was closed, and Gummy was left alone. The morning had been going well up until a minute ago. She had been dancing and singing a favorite song, a song of a love story in Manehatten, so poppy and catchy and dancerific that even Fluttershy couldn't resist shaking some tushy when she heard it.

Then the song ended and Pinkie Pie got this gut feeling. She was the premier party pony of Ponyville, a professional planner and purveyor of pleasantries, and a pretty, perky Pie too. She tossed parties, she told jokes, she danced and sang, she laughed and played, she made ponies feel good about themselves. Her zone was in a large group of happy ponies, dancing, eating, enjoying themselves. A party. She _adored_ parties. She adored the number of ponies that went to them, she adored the crowds and many voices.

Today she didn't want a crowd, or a party. She didn't feel like making ponies laugh and smile. She didn't want to cook or create or dance or sing or laugh or play… She felt so wrong it was making her sick.

She didn't know why she so suddenly felt alone.

"Gummy?" Pinkie Pie turned her head quietly away from the window of her room, staring down at the milling ponies outside. The little toothless alligator blinked at her from her open saddle drawer curiously. "Gummy? Am I bad pony?" She asked him honestly.

The alligator had no answers. Rather, he flipped a pair of rolled up socks onto his snout and started bouncing it.

"I-I'm supposed to be the Element of Laughter, Gummy. The party pony of Ponyville." She recited sadly, staring back outside. She could go walk among the ponies down there and be surrounded by warmth and friendliness, but none of them would fill the hole she felt in her chest. The emptiness left there by a lack of companionship.

Pinkie Pie was liked and loved by many a pony, but she was never truly _loved_ like some ponies were. Rarity had many admirers, ponies she conversed with regularly who loved her looks and personality. Applejack and Rainbow Dash impressed a good number of ponies, tough and weak alike who found them so ruggedly interesting they got all a-flutter. Speaking of fluttering, Fluttershy was so quiet and nice that many ponies just fell head over hooves when just speaking a few words with her. And Twilight even had quite a few smart ponies interested in knowing what sort of pony the librarian was to be so smart and friendly.

Pinkie… She had none of that. She had friends, she had acquaintances, she had regulars in the shop, but she didn't have love. Nopony saw past her in-your-face personality and assumed there was more to her. Nopony thought there was some sort of deeper being than what they saw in front of them. Nopony knew she could get hurt…

She stood up on her hind legs to press her hooves to the glass window. She was the Element of Laughter, but she could not laugh today. She was too lonely.

In the darkness of her room, Pinkie Pie retreated to bed and curled up underneath the blankets and shut her eyes.

Already so tired of being lonely…

* * *

><p>"Oi!"<p>

Wet Dreams turned her head, catching a glimpse of red before Tender dove beneath her cloud and popped up, smiling in assured self-pleasure. It was the sort of look Dreams normally applied to a well-fed cat. Or an asshole. "Well don't we look happy?" Dreams snorted.

Tender blew off the comment with a happy sigh as he floated in a slow circle around her. "_I_ found an Element, one of mine! A cute little Earth pony who's never known the joys of love!" Tender's smile grew. "She's all unsure right now but I think she'll come around and start looking for a companion soon enough. What about you? Got Kindness boned yet?"

Dreams puffed her cheeks and let it out with a sputter of her lips. "Oh things were going perfect! Some dyke even showed up right before I got in. The two were practically cuddling when I hit Fluttershy with an arousal spell. Then the dyke got dragged into the bedroom, but before anything good could happen the dyke ran off screaming and Fluttershy chased after her! Lost them both!" Dreams through her hooves into the air and then settled down with a grumble.

Tender was laughing his flank off as Dreams sulked, pausing only to smack her brother as he floated by. "Dang sis, who knew you could lose your touch? Need your brudder to help you li'l sis? Eh?" He cooed.

He shut up when Dreams shoved him below the clouds. "Cram it. I found another one of the Elements, the Element of Magic. Shot her up with enough magic to make a Vulcan sweat so I think it's safe to say that's one element down."

"Two~o." Tender reminded her with a little song as he floated around her.

"Right." Dreams pouted as she watched the horizon again, looking for some sort of sign, any indication that the other two elements were coming back. No such luck.

Tender just snickered at his sister's annoyed stare and slowly started to drift away. "Well good luck with your little run-away! Do make sure you don't scare them off again, we need them after all." He floated off, leaving Dreams to smolder.

"Show you what you need you over-confident little…" She snarled and snorted as she began to hunt for the last element she needed.

Now where was Generosity…?

* * *

><p>Big Macintosh tossed the wet towel into the laundry basket as Spike put the last of the old sink parts in a trash bag. Darn thing really did have too many parts, Big Macintosh forgot how many pointless bits and pieces of the Hee-Haw sink there were. He practically had a little collection going in that bag. He could probably take them home and replace some of the parts he needed to restock back at home, 'cept they were probably too old to be used for much.<p>

"Is that the last of it?" Spike asked as he tied off the bag. Big Macintosh heaved it onto his back to carry it out to the back.

"Looks like it." Big Macintosh answered. He dropped the bag off with the other trash bags that needed collection outside and nodded his thanks to Spike. The sink was completely dismantled, just a hole in the counter left to tell them what used to be there. Depending on the model Twilight picked he may have to go pick up his carpenting tools to readjust the hole. Thinking about it, he may be here for quite a while.

Not that that was necessarily a bad thing. The work would keep his mind focused and relax him, the satisfaction and thanks on Twilight's face would serve as a reward in itself, and nopony back on the farm would miss him as long as he was helping out a friend. There was also the whole being kept company by a cute girl thing to keep him there.

"Thanks little man." Big Macintosh nodded to Spike as the latter used an old rag to wipe his hands clean. "Probably won't need y'all for the rest of the day. Could probably start on cleanin' the library." He offered helpfully.

Spike shook his head though and smiled. "Nope, that's Twilight's job today! I'm going over to Rarity's to help her around the Boutique!" His face was triumphant. Big Macintosh noted that the dragon was almost glowing with joy. He could tell why, Rarity was another cute mare around town. Little up tight for his tastes but she was something to look at.

That and the secret of Spike's crush on Rarity was so transparent it didn't leave any doubt in your mind what the young man thought of the mare.

"Best of luck to ya." Big Macintosh said honestly while glancing towards the door. "Just behave little man. Lady like that likes a gentleman." That felt like a wise thing to say. Seemed to do the trick too, Spike saluted him and dashed off to go meet the mare of his dreams.

While Big Macintosh waited for the lady of the library to return he sorted his tools and even got Twilight's all together. That mare had a mighty throw in her, though it was magic so it was kind of like cheating. Still, he'd heard she was a tough little thing, even saw her help out in the fields sometimes and was as down to Earth as Applejack was.

Well… When she wasn't planning to monopolize water.

He stifled a laugh right on time for the door opened up again and he heard hooves coming towards the kitchen. "That you Miss Sparkle?" he asked as he tried to impress her by looking busy staring at the water shut-off valve.

The hoof steps faltered behind him, then something hard smacked the doorway. He turned back to look and found Twilight staring directly at his back, eyes wide and focused intently as a large, heavy-looking box floating by her side tried to push its way through the wall.

Big Macintosh was confused for a moment by the way she just stood and stared. It took him a moment to realize that he was the object of her interests, and judging by the way she looked she was enamored with what she saw. Big Macintosh cleared his throat and suppressed a blush. "Miss Sparkle?" he called out gently.

Twilight squeaked and jumped in surprise, dropping the box with an unceremonious clatter. Her cheeks began to burn red as she lowered her nose in embarrassment, but she never once took her eyes off of him. "Hi. Sorry." She was quiet, her tone distant. She took a few weak steps forward and the box clumsily bumped the wall again, but a little adjusting let it slide on through.

Quietly she set the box on the nearest counter top as she stared at Big Macintosh. The stallion did not take his eyes off hers. Slowly he puzzled the situation out. Twilight was acting strange, as far as he knew. She wasn't gone for too long, maybe ten minutes at the most, and before heading out she hadn't been acting out of the ordinary.

So something happened out there. What it was he couldn't guess… Nor did he have time to, he realized, as a peculiar scent reached his nose. He knew that scent. He knew it pretty well in fact. He had enough experience over the years to recognize when a mare was aroused, and he knew what that smell could do to a stallion. "Miss Sparkle?" He called out hesitantly.

"You can call me Twilight." She took a few unsteady steps towards him. Her back legs were especially shaky, and the scent only grew stronger. Big Macintosh easily earned his reputation as a strong pony, but he doubted there was a colt in the world who could smell a mare in heat and not lose a few morals.

He took a few careful steps back to try and keep his composure as Twilight came closer. "Alright Twilight." He said like he was trying to talk down a panicking animal. "Are y'all okay?" Twilight hesitated just a few feet away from him, as if she herself didn't know the answer.

"No." She answered honestly. Big Macintosh opened his mouth to say a few calming words and reassure her things would be alright, but he was stopped dead in his tracks when a tongue forced its way down his throat.

He exhaled quickly, excitedly through his nostrils as he felt Twilight's lips crush harder against his. He felt the heat of her breath in his mouth as she quickly, agitatedly swirled her tongue around his gums without direction but with plenty of intent and ferocity. She pressed as closed as she could and seemed to be trying to find a different way to kiss him as she twisted her snout to somehow bring them closer, and Big Macintosh realized that Twilight was a terrible kisser. She had no experience, she knew the bare bones, clearly, but she meandered about it like she was blind.

Despite this there was amazing power in the kiss. It was so _hot_, so mind-meltingly _hot._ She didn't have experience but she undermined all of his senses and thoughts by intensity alone. Big Macintosh felt his eyes slowly flutter to a close as he began to lose out to his own primal needs under the powered attack.

The kiss broke, maybe for half a second so Twilight could catch her breath, and though every good part of Big Macintosh told him to get back, his instincts pushed him forward, catching Twilight in mid-breath to return to the kiss whole-heartedly. He showed no awkwardness like she did as he took the charge, his movements were fluid and direct, exploring her mouth as her tongue submissively danced with his, rolling about between the two of their snouts under Big Macintosh's direct influence.

He raised a foreleg to wrap around her neck and tug her closer, deepening their kiss until all Big Macintosh could focus on was the mare right in front of him. He no longer heard or saw anything, just tasted and touched Twilight while he breathed through his nose and caught a whiff of her scent in the air. The all natural Twilight, nearly overpowered by the smell of her arousal filled each breath he took through his nostrils, but once again they broke.

Twilight's eyes were half-lidded as she reared back, sucking in deep breaths, something incredibly hot about the way she eyed him. Big Macintosh was shuddering, dying to continue the kiss. He hadn't kissed a mare like that since the end of his school days, and he had never been so engaged in one that he forgot there was a body behind the mouth.

He didn't know Twilight had it in her. He wasn't aware she had anything close to the near feral instincts primarily associated with earth ponies and pegasus ponies. He had met several unicorns in his time, some even from Canterlot, and never once had any of them showed anything so unrefined so openly. He assumed unicorns were above and beyond being a primal creature.

Yet here was Twilight, a smart little pony, maybe one of the smartest and one of the most magical giving in. Big Macintosh had to remind himself the only thing differentiating an earth pony and a unicorn was a horn. Still, that horn was attached to a classy little thing… He realized he'd never even worked out kissing a mare with a horn before, he'd never once been with a unicorn. Though he felt lucky that her horn hadn't touched him, he became curious.

Big Macintosh leaned forward again, and Twilight moved to meet him with her eyes closing. Her lips pressed to his neck, much to her surprise as his chin slid along her snout, her eyes rolling up to watch as… "Oh!" Twilight gasped sharply, her legs turning to jelly. The only thing keeping her on her hooves as Big Macintosh delicately kissed her horn was his foreleg pulling her into him.

He didn't much know what he was doing with her horn. He'd heard rumors and fantastical stories, he'd read a few crazy things about old studies and he'd heard friends of his go back and forth on the issue, but judging by the way Twilight shook and moaned against him the horn was definitely worth paying attention to. He was careful as he gently nipped the tip and the sides of the solid appendage, feeling her chest rise and fall against his chest as he drew out unrestrained cries of pleasure. Her lips pressed to his neck again and again, moving from his jawbones up and down the middle of his neck as he curiously licked her horn. It had no taste, not a real one anyways, but it surprised him anyways by the way it made her scream. So he licked it again, and again, and kept licking at it until she was crying against his neck in pleasure.

The rumors were true, and something about it made him feel all the more attracted to the horn. She lifted up her front legs to cling to his neck, letting him feel her heartbeat race from his attentions. She sniffed and whimpered loudly as her screams died down, so he tilted his head down to catch her mouth again. His eyes rolled into his head as she took over the kissing this time. No skill, no tact, but she did not let him take control as she kissed him as hard as she could. She was in constant motion, refusing to stay still long enough for him to savor her taste in any particular way and barraging him with tastes and feelings every passing second.

Maybe it was good they never really got to know each other before, because Big Macintosh definitely liked this side of her. He probably would have never met it if he'd known her better.

Between his back legs he could feel a certain part of him grow stiff with want. Hidden away in his pouch that old need to _be_ with this mare was making itself known. Not enough to push out. Not yet. But as she raised her hooves further up his neck, feeling and messing up his mane, as she widened her back legs and overtook the air with her smell, he knew it was only a matter of minutes before he could hide his shame no longer.

No, this was perfect. There was no awkwardness in this. He didn't know her too well, just what he heard from Applejack. Something about knowing he was fighting for dominance with one of the most intelligent fillies in Ponyville just drove a thrill down his spine. Something about her brain made him so aroused. No, it was how her brain was going along with whatever the hell they were up to right now.

'What the hell are we up to?' He asked himself. Here he was, kissing his sister's friend in her own kitchen when he was supposed to be building her sink. She had come home not as herself. Something had happened. Something had aroused her. He didn't know what or why he was the focus of it, but the kiss began to feel a lot less hot.

Between his legs he was still stiff as a tree, and he was still growing rapidly. 'Have to…' He tried to think as Twilight wiggled closer, getting herself a few inches above him and letting him smell her little honey pot more easily. His cheeks flushed, and he felt himself grow rock solid. Just one more little push… 'Have to stop…'

"Twi-" He tried to speak but she shut him up with a tighter kiss. His tongue curled around hers and she sucked at his mouth with a muffled whinny. He felt his dignity attempt to push out of the pouch, out into the open. He tore his lips away for a second. "Twilight!" He wheezed, stomping the floor with his back hoof, jostling himself. He could feel cool air against the tip of his stallionhood as his pouch began to open, but he tightened his back legs and squeezed. "Stop!" He shouted.

He waited for her lips to continue to seek his. They didn't come, so he opened his eyes. Twilight was staring down at him, stunned. It took him a moment to realize he'd actually shouted. Big Macintosh couldn't remember the last time he had ever shouted. It must have been years, for some tiny thing that didn't matter and got looked over. Maybe cheering his sister on, maybe steering the cattle before the fence was installed, either way, he'd raised his voice, and he knew that when he wanted to be loud, his voice could boom.

He began to feel even worse. Had he scared her? Did she think he was angry at her? She lowered herself quietly, still fidgeting and stumbling in a way that told him she was still aroused. "Twilight." He whispered hoarsely, ignoring their mutual state while still trying to keep his pride hidden from view. Her smell still lingered in the air, and he was still inches from the lips and horn of this lovely little mare. "What's gotten into you?" There was no accusation in his voice, just worry.

Twilight's ears twitched as she stared at him, getting all four hooves on the ground. Her eyes were wide and a bit watery, but it wasn't from sadness, just heat. She gulped heavily and eyed him. She wanted him badly, and he wanted her just as badly, but he had to keep himself level-headed. "I don't know?" She answered around a dry tongue as she stared at his neck and his chest. She leaned forward to kiss or lick, but Big Macintosh stepped back carefully and made a small noise of warning.

"Y'all weren't anything like this a'fore y'all left." He pointed out. He wondered if she was even listening as she took a step closer and tried to kiss him again, but he took one step back. He turned his head away and winced. The step loosened his grip some, and her eyes went straight underneath him as part of his dark length began to show. "Talk to me Twilight!" He ordered sharply, loudly, getting her attention again.

"… I don't know." She said again. She tried to move closer but he stomped his front hoof down and grunted. Each movement was making his grip loosen just the slightest. He was stressing himself holding his length in. The intensity was getting bad enough he was worried about hurting himself, but she was starting to finally pause and question herself. "I… I was buying the sink and I swear… I swear I just started to feel warm. I thought maybe I was just inside long enough but it was just in my groin area, and as I spoke to the salespony the warmth got worse because she was _so cute._" Twilight reared back from her own words. "Oh my gosh she _was!_ I realized I wanted her some, but I managed to just buy the sink and walk out. And every pony I passed by I thought was so cute too! The heat just got worse and worse, even while it was cold and I just wanted somepony to come and-" Twilight bit her bottom lip and her eyes grew wide.

Big Macintosh was almost scared to ask. His back end was trembling from the pressure he was putting on himself, and he let out a tiny gasp of relief as he just let a little slide out. He couldn't pass it off as anything else now, a good inch and a half was exposed and Twilight couldn't keep her eyes off it. "Come and what Twilight?" He asked.

She moved closer suddenly, her scent peaking again as her eyes became glassy from want. He tried to move back but he bumped against the counter. He had no where to go as long as he wanted to keep himself contained. She dove underneath him, between his legs and he saw the chance to try and leap over, screw hiding his dignity, lock himself in a bathroom and take a cold shower and figure her out through the door, but he was stopped short.

His jaw dropped. He had never met a mare so forward or even as kinky as this… That tongue he had been wrestling with just a minute before calmly stroked the black head of his mast, and with a surprised groan he let go. He felt a moment of panic mingling with the relief of letting his entire self out, but that was pushed into the back of his mind as lips parted and wrapped around him.

He felt his anxiety and shame disappear in a single stroke as Twilight herself let all sense of embarrassment go and used her mouth to its fullest. Big Macintosh felt weak in the knees and he knew he couldn't resist the temptation anymore. Some things were too much. He knew he would beg for forgiveness for this later, he knew he would spend weeks in debt to Twilight, but the two minutes he spent feeling her teeth gently brush along the sensitive black skin of his stallionhood and felt her tongue press against areas he didn't even know about would follow him to the grave as one of the high-points of his life.

"Twilight!" He wheezed again, resisting the urge to buck his hips so he wouldn't hurt her with his bulk. She ignored him in favor of relaxing her throat. Big Macintosh heard rumors of this too, and briefly wondered if this was a magical unicorn thing or if she - oh dear.

He blushed in embarrassment and his stance grew rigid from shock. In his excitement he had bucked his back leg straight through her counter. He still had a short ways to go, but he had never been so deep in a mare. He felt he would embarrass her by calling her naturally talented at using her throat. He shuddered as she began to slide back towards his base again, and with a grunt he thrusted, sheathing himself. She didn't even so much as gag.

Another minute of mind-bending pleasure passed and he knew he couldn't last much longer. "Close…" He growled, squeezing his eyes shut. There was a small popping sound, and he opened his eyes to watch Twilight pull out from underneath him. Her horn was glowing purple, as was her head and throat, but that ended without so much as a blink. He watched her turn and walk away with bewilderment, his body aching so much with the need that only one little touch would have let him go.

He wanted to shout, he wanted to get angry, but he let those feelings go as he watched her raise her top half onto another counter and raise her tail high to show off everything. Big Macintosh's eyes widened as he stared at her back end, the soft pink labia clear and visible from her own arousal as well as the small, dark hole just above it, no longer hidden by that wonderful flank of hers. Her horn began to glow again, and this time her whole backside lit up, just as her head and throat had.

She spread her back legs further and glanced back at him with a wanting stare, her lips and legs trembling with need as she thrust her rump back at him. Big Macintosh got the message loud and clear, and he all but raced to her. He lifted himself up above her and rested his hooves just outside hers while he pressed his chest against her back. He reared himself back and leaned his head in at the same time to start another kiss, not at all bothered by taste.

He took a few testing thrusts to find an opening - at this point hardly caring which one thanks to that lovely magic of hers - and finally pressed himself inwards.

Beneath him, the mare let out a squeal of joy into his mouth and she bucked backwards without a single twinge of pain.

_Bliss._

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, Spike was raising his clawed hand to knock on the door of the boutique when the strangest feeling that something precious of his was being mishandled made his stomach ache. He immediately grabbed his stomach and rubbed it massagingly as he stared down himself in confusion. "What the fu-"<p> 


End file.
